


Natasha Drabbles

by MissMonsters2



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMonsters2/pseuds/MissMonsters2
Summary: Compilations of drabbles with Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader.Originally Posted on my Tumblr @MissMonsters2*Mass Posting
Relationships: Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader, Natasha Romanov/Reader, natasha Romanoff/reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 77
Collections: Natasha Romanoff Reader Inserts





	1. Prom with Black Widow

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Hi! I really like your writing! Can you make a reader x natasha where reader asks famous black widow to prom not really expecting to get any response but it comes and it is a yes? And of course they go! Thank you! Love you! Have a nice day filled with cute dogs!

It’s really just a dumb thing you were going to do. You don’t _actually_ expect anything out of it. 

It’s just–you really admire _her_.

You’ve always been a rather sickly child. Even to the point where you couldn’t go to school for a year and had to repeat a year because of it.

You thought life was pointless. 

And then that crazy alien invasion thing happened, and she saved you from being crushed by rubble.

 _“Stuck in the hospital and almost crushed by falling concrete. Not your day, huh? I’ll make sure tomorrow is a better day.”_ She joked.

It was stupid. 

Completely unrelated to anything in your life, and yet, you started crying in Black Widow’s arms. 

And now you’re in your senior year, ready to go to prom. You’ve had many guys ask you to go with them, but you turned them all down. 

It was just going to be a good year. You wanted to just laugh and dance with your friends.

But you’re still not sure why you’re dropping off this stupid letter at the Stark Tower.

“Hi, what can I do for ya, kid?” A man says at the counter.

You stalked up, cheeks bright red as you drop the letter on the counter, slightly crumpled from you gripping it too tightly.

“Please give this to her!” You say before turning around and running off. 

“Wait–” The security guard says, but you’re already gone. 

He looks down at the letter with a brow raised and sighs.

Before you know it, prom comes, and your stomach is filled butterflies as you enter into the hotel, giggling with your friends. 

You stand in the main foyer, about to take pictures when someone taps you on the shoulder.

“Yes?” You say, turning around before your heart nearly stops. 

Bright green eyes stare back at you with a smirk. 

Oh God, Black Widow is standing in front of you in a woman’s suit and vest.

“What are you–” Comes out of your mouth, but you don’t finish the sentence before she’s holding up a letter.

 _Your_ letter.

“Maybe when dropping off a letter, write your return address too if you want a reply,” she teases you, and you immediately flush red.

You’re too shocked to say anything, your heart is going 100 miles a minute.

You think you might pass out. 

“It’s Natasha, by the way,” She mumbles, pulling out a corsage for you that matches the mint green tie she’s wearing. 

She’s tying it dutifully around your wrist, and you finally find the words to say something.

“Why?” You ask. 

Natasha hums thoughtfully as she finishes, looking up and holding her chin lightly.

“I recall telling you I would make tomorrow a better day,” she smiles, and you tilt your head smiling lightly back.

“You’re many tomorrows late.”

“Hm, you’re right. How about we change it to today, then?”

You find yourself laughing but nodding as the tips of your ears flush red too. 

She holds her arm out, smirking as you take it.

“You’re in luck. I brought good vodka for the punch.”


	2. Sweater Stealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: For the short drabbles: maybe Natasha is quite a bit taller (canonically, shes 5 foot 7 inches) than the reader (her short, less than average height girlfriend) and she finds out that the reader has been "borrowing" her sweaters because theyre really big on her?

“Hm.”

Natasha hums as she looks in her closet. 

Her sweaters are going missing. 

Even her favorite Harvard sweater is missing.

Did she graduate from Harvard?

No, she only went for two days, but that doesn’t invalidate the fact that it’s the softest sweater ever. 

Natasha leans her weight onto one foot as she counts how many sweaters are missing. 

Has to be at least five.

Now that she thinks about it, she’s seen you walking in and out of her room a lot. 

Natasha briskly walks out of her room, entering into the kitchen.

She stops herself before making announcing her presence when she notices you making hot tea.

There you were…walking around in her Harvard sweatshirt…with no pants. 

God, you were too fucking cute in her clothes, but she will not stand for this!

She coughs lightly, grabbing your attention as you jump slightly and turn around.

“Oh, hey,” you greet her with a smile and rosy cheeks, mug in your hands covered by the sleeves. 

“You know what’s been weird?” Natasha leads off. “All my sweaters have been going missing lately.”

“Oh?” You say as if you don’t have a clue in the world.

“How ominous.”

“Mm,” Natasha hums, sauntering her way to you. “I wouldn’t say ominous since I’m starting to realize my 5′2″ girlfriend has been stealing them.”

“Stealing? I would say _borrowing_ , baby. I mean, I only take five a time,” You pout. 

“Ugh, why are you ‘borrowing’ them? You have your own sweaters,” Natasha scrunches her nose.

“I mean,” you mumble, putting your cup of tea down and standstill. Natasha notices for the first time how tiny you look in her sweaters. The sleeves hang past down your hands, and the bottom almost reaches your knees.

The sweater has practically eaten you. 

“I like that it’s big…”

“You can buy your own big sweaters.”

“I like that it smells like you…”

Natasha bites her lips.

That’s too much for her. She might have a heart attack and die with how cute you are.

“Fine…you can keep the sweater,” Natasha caves.

“Good. At least I went to Harvard,” you giggle. 

“Any more sass from you, and I’ll rip the sweater off right now.”

You smirk.


	3. Quantum Physics to get back To Nat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: reader gets stuck in time (like antman did) and comes back to find natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is soft…unless you imagine Natasha still dy*ng and reader suffering after they say *things* at the end.

“Ouch,” you groan as you rub your back. You look around and realize you’re in a junkyard. 

“Ugh,” you groan again as you get up, wobbling slightly as you try to find your footing. 

You turn around to see an old man sitting in a rundown sun chair, eating a hotdog. 

Although, now, he had his mouth wide open and his food held in midair as he stared at you.

“Hey,” You say as look around again, squinting your eyes.

“You got a phone?”

It takes you two hours to back to New York. Two hours for you to digest everything that has happened.

Half the world was gone. It makes you swallow painfully, but you refuse to believe she’s gone. 

You go to the compound immediately.

Okay, well, actually, first you get new clothes, and then you go to the compound.

You stroll on in, the security guard dropping his sandwich as he sees you.

“‘Sup?” You greet casually, walking right on in.

It’s 2PM.

You already know where Natasha is.

She’s a creature of habit.

Which is always changing her habits.

It’s complicated, but you know her well. 

You smile as you see her in the training room, the door slightly ajar. She’s doing shooting practice with her earmuffs on.

You take the moment to try to slip in stealthily, but you’re not quiet enough to get past Black Widow unnoticed.

She immediately turns around and fires a bullet in your direction that you dodge with ease. 

“Shit, I knew there’d be a possibility you’d be mad, but this is a little overboard, don’t you think?” You joke, but the look on her face has you stuck.

Natasha stands there with her hand over her mouth slightly as she regards you, slipping her earmuffs off.

“You’re…” She whispers.

“Yeah,” you say, rubbing the back of your head. “It’s really complicated and sciency with the quantum realm and time vortex shit, I’ll spare you but basically–”

You don’t even get to finish your sentence before Natasha barrels into you, wrapping her arms around your neck.

“You’re _alive_ ,” she chokes out.

“Alive?” You say, confusedly. 

“I didn’t think you’d ever come back,” Natasha holds you tightly, and you want to joke around, it’s on the tip of your tongue but the way Natasha trembles in your arms sobers you.

“Hey,” you coo to her, wrapping your arm around her waist, and your fingertips lightly brushing the space between her shoulder blades. “There is nothing that could ever keep me from coming back to you.”

“Even death?” Natasha tries to joke, but her voice shakes, and you can tell she’s still overwhelmed.

“I would possess someone else’s body if I had to. Like in Ghost Whisperer.”

Natasha laughs lightly, burying her face into your neck, so _relieved_ that you’re home.

You’re here…with her.

“There’s nothing that could keep me from you, too,” Natasha mumbles.


	4. Coming Back Endgame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: natasha & reader reuniting after natasha watched reader crumble to dust

Natasha still gets nightmares about it.

She doesn’t think she can ever forget the image of you crumbling to dust in her arms.

Natasha has never cried, like full-on _cried_. But trying to keep you from disappearing, grasping at nothing, not even able to keep your ashes brought out a sob she didn’t even think she was capable of.

A pain she didn’t think she would ever experience. Natasha has lost before, but she’s never lost _you_.

She was so lost. 

But she kept it together because she needs to, she still has a family to look after even if it feels like you took everything with you.

She’s going through the motions as she’s fighting. She’s angry.

These people took you from her.

It’s one after the next, it feels like it’s never going to end. 

Natasha feels like she can’t breathe. She just needs a moment. Just a millisecond to get herself together.

Live with the fact that when they win, she might still have nothing to come home to. 

“You know, you standing here while Bucky is getting his ass kicked 5 feet from you really makes me wonder. You still holding a grudge against him? I told you, baby, you still look great in bikinis.”

Natasha whips her head up and thinks for a moment, the world is still beautiful. 

Because, _God_ , there you are, standing there as if she didn’t lose you for years.

“Bucky can take care of himself,” Natasha finds herself saying. The banter comes easy. As if you were never gone. They look over to see Bucky, who kills his opponent, glaring at the two of you.

He’s definitely upset he came back and was immediately attacked.

“See?” Natasha says. It’s the first time she notices that people are back on the field. 

People that she lost years ago and helpless to it. 

She looks at you as you now stand in front of her.

It’s just a moment on the battlefield. 

Really a millisecond.

And Natasha is thankful for the pain she’s endured because otherwise, she would never experience the happiness she feels now.


	5. Braids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: natasha x reader, natasha braiding readers hair when reader cant bc she injured her arm or smth

“Fuck this,” you sigh.

God, this was so frustrating. 

You hate this feeling, this feeling of being _helpless_. It was really your own fault. You fucked up on a mission, and Wanda had to save your ass, but your arm got broken in the process.

Now, it’s in a cast and an arm sling, and you can’t fucking do anything like tie your own goddam _hair_.

Shit, you were considering going bald. 

You could hear a soft chuckle behind you, and you turn around to see Natasha standing there, leaning against the door as she watched you try to tie your own hair up for the better part of the last 30 minutes.

“You’d still love me if I was bald, right?” You ask her, trying to make light of how frustrated you were really feeling. 

“No comment,” Natasha teases you right back. She takes your good hand, dragging you to follow her back to her room and sits on the carpet. Pulling you down, you sit between her legs as you face the window outside, basking in the warm sun. 

The two of you don’t say anything as Natasha ruffles your hair slightly before you can feel her sectioning your hair. 

You sit there quietly, watching as bluebirds fly past the window. You feel Natasha closing her legs slightly to keep you close to her, and you close your eyes.

It feels good. Her skin pressed against yours, and you’re quietly thankful for the fact that you can be vulnerable with Natasha.

Thankful that Natasha _taught_ you how to be vulnerable with her. 

“There, see? No need to go bald,” Natasha says, grinning as runs her hand down your shoulder.

You lean back, head resting on her shoulder, forehead pressed to her cheek. 

“Hater,” you grin back. 

You feel Natasha laugh more than you hear it. 

It’s quiet again as you enjoy the quietness of Wednesday afternoon. 

Maybe even when your arms heal, you can ask Natasha to still braid your hair. 


	6. That's My Wife...and Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader introducing their daughter to the team for the first time with Natasha being super protective of Reader and Daughter? Thank you in advance, you’re amazing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> любовник - lover  
> Пчелка – Pchelka - LIttle bee

Your heart was racing. 

You were so nervous.

“It’ll be fine, stop worrying so much, любовник,” Natasha whispered in your ear. “They’re going to love you.”

You merely smile, but it didn’t alleviate your nervousness. After all, you were meeting the Avengers, Natasha’s…coworkers.

“And they’re definitely going to love you,” Natasha cooed softly to the charming little girl in your arms. “Isn’t that right, Пчелка – Pchelka?”

Your daughter giggles at her other mother before she softly lays her head on your shoulder.

“Oh, cr–shoot,” Natasha adjusts at the last second when you shoot your eyes at her. “I have to grab something real quick, why don’t you head in first?”

You pout slightly but nod.

Natasha presses a quick kiss to you as you walk in. Your daughter starts to fuss a little, and you put her down, patting her dress. 

She grabs your hand, and you chuckle at how small her hand is in yours.

You look around at the other dressed up people, marveling slightly at the parties Tony host.

Natasha was very adamant that you were a secret for the longest time. That meant no one even knew you existed or what you even looked like.

Nevermind that Natasha had a child too.

“Hey.”

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you see a tall man grinning at you.

“I’m Sam, I don’t think we’ve met before and trust me, I’ve been to a lot of these things,” he grins.

You smile politely and introduce yourself.

“This is my daughter,” you introduce as your daughter hides slightly behind your leg.

He chuckles and starts to talk more to you, and you start to get hints of him flirting. 

You’re just about to interrupt him to let him know that you’re here with Natasha.

“So, what do you say? I can take you and your daughter to the amusement park. The icecream there is pretty good.” He says with a charming smile, and you can’t help but chuckle because he’s sweet.

“You going to buy me a ticket and ice cream too, bird boy?” 

You feel a possessive hand on your waist and look over to see Natasha has come back with your shawl so you wouldn’t be cold later.

The rest of the team seems to be coming over to see what’s going on.

Natasha’s tone is light and breezy, but you can tell she’s a little miffed.

“Oh, do you know her?” Sam asks as the rest of the team arrived.

Natasha laughs, pulling you close to kiss you on the temple.

“Of course, I know my wife and kid.”

Everyone’s jaw dropped, and you roll your eyes.

Sam immediately holds it hands up to show he’s surrendered.

“Hey, can’t blame a guy for trying,” he smiles charmingly and jokes, “It’s really your own fault for keeping her such a tight-lipped secret.”

“It’ll also be your fault if I end up electrocuting you if you flirt with my wife again,” Natasha smirks.

“Alright, Romanoff, no need to scare the guy,” Steve jokes as everyone’s already introducing themselves to you and your daughter.

“Of course, I have to be protective…how else do you think I managed to snag her?” Natasha grumbled.


	7. Teach Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: reader learning Russian for Nat. either r’s progression with the language, or Nat discovering it, idk whatever you’d like!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Меня зовут - My name is…  
> Ты согреваешь мою душу - You warm my soul

Natasha’s beginning to notice something weird.

And she’s not sure if she likes it.

Lately, she’s noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of time with Wanda.

You’d go off for about an hour, an hour and a half every day with Wanda, disappearing off to her room.

Natasha tried to not think anything of it because it’s good to get along with members of the team.

And she didn’t want to be that type of girlfriend who got jealous or paranoid, doing crazy things like trying to listen outside the door.

Mostly because Wanda would know.

She sat in the common area with Steve, Sam, and Bucky, who were in the midst of a debate that she lost interest in hours ago.

The elevator doors opened, and Natasha turned her head to see that you’ve finished whatever you were doing with Wanda. 

She watches as you get off but turn around as it seems Wanda isn’t getting off. Wanda whispers something you, patting you on the arm when she finishes. 

Natasha watches as you smile and wave off to her before turning back to head where she is. 

It’s fine, Natasha thinks. 

But then she catches Wanda giving her a sly smirk before the elevator door closes.

And Natasha is in a sour mood. 

Still, she decides she’s not going to press you about it even if she is dying to find out what it is the two of you are doing every day.

It isn’t until next week when Natasha comes home early from a quick mission that she finds you sitting in her bedroom quietly, looking over your phone. 

“Ме…ня зо..вут…Мен..я зо..вут, Меня зовут…” Natasha hears you mumbling to yourself. 

“What are you doing?” Natasha questions, surprising you as you jump slightly and turn around with wide eyes.

“You’re home early,” you say, a little disappointedly, and Natasha raises her brow.

“I’m sorry?” She replies in return.

“No…it’s not that…ugh, you heard me, didn’t you?” You say as you stand up, and Natasha walks closer to you.

“You mean you slightly butchering my home language?” Natasha teases and is surprised when you blush slightly.

You groan.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. Wanda is going to be disappointed in me that I got caught so soon.”

Natasha blinks.

“Is…that what you’ve been doing with Wanda lately?” Natasha asks, and you nod.

“Why didn’t you just come to me if you wanted to learn Russian? I could’ve taught you,” Natasha sounds a little hurt, but you merely smile at her and take hold of her hands.

“It was _supposed_ to be a surprise for my lovely girlfriend,” you tell her. “I thought it would be nice if I learned something for you too since you learned how to make my favorite dish a couple months ago.”

Natasha still seems a little down, and you can’t help but laugh as you wrap your arms around her.

“Stop with that look,” you tell her, “since I’ve been caught already, I don’t have to keep getting Wanda to teach me, okay?”

Natasha just looks up as if that wasn’t the issue she was having.

“She did teach me one good thing to say to you,” you muse, and Natasha cocks her brow.

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

You smile.

“Ты согреваешь мою душу.”


	8. Song Drabbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the 5 sentence song drabbles

**All of Me - John Legend**

Natasha doesn’t think she may ever understand you. But with her life constantly in motion, always on the verge of threatening to drown her, you’re the only thing to ground her.

“The best part of me is you,” Natasha would say.

“Oh yeah?” You tease, “And which part is that exactly?”

“All of me,” Natasha says with ease, brushing a stray hair behind your hair.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

**Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding**

“I might be in love with you,” Natasha breathes.

And it feels like you’ve just tipped over the edge of paradise when you hear it. 

There’s just a certain way that Natasha looks at you, the way she brushes her hand against yours, the way she _laughs_. 

She’s someone who taught you how to love and how to _be_ loved.

“What are you waiting for?” You whisper and Natasha pulls you by the lapels of your jacket until her lips touch yours.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

**Japanese Denim - Daniel Caesar**

Natasha lives a certain way, likes to be at her own pace, her own wavelength.

But ever since she’s met you, she finds herself adjusting her wavelength to match yours. 

Like right now during rush hour when the world is operating at 100mph, Natasha’s sitting unhurried in a coffee shop thinking about you.

She looks at you fixing another grumpy customer’s drink and takes a look at her jeans, and how long they’ve lasted.

She hopes the two of you will go through every rush hour for the rest of her life.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

**Kiss me - Ed Sheeran**

It’s too soft, the way she’s kissing you for it only to mean friends with benefits.

She’s kissing you like she wants to be loved, and it’s making you fall. Your fingers trail down her spine, and it writes secret words how you’ll keep her safe.

Her eyes are fluttering, and you have to close yours because you might fall completely over the edge if you look into them.

Her lips press against your neck, and all you want to do is beg her to settle down, and kiss you like she wants to be loved again.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

**Lovers - Anna of the North**

The road always seems longer. It feels like there’s no direction, and you’re just wandering in the dark.

Natasha’s no longer there to guide you through, and you’re lost because the only thing you keep seeing is her back as she walks away.

And the song on the radio turns into broken promises of her saying she would never go.

Even if you can’t see in the dark, can’t feel anything, the only thing you know how to do is keep making your way back to Natasha, and hope she shines a little light on you.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

**Venice Bitch - Lana Del Ray**

You miss the days that were simple. When you and Natasha were nobodies that didn’t have to worry about anything except when the next time you’d get to kiss. 

And even when you try to make it work, perhaps it’s true that nothing gold can stay. 

It’s been years since you’ve seen her, but when you’re back in the place where it all began, where she’s in the yard and you’re lighting a fire, you can’t help but miss her on your lips. 

With the last of summer fading away in a place where it feels like there’s only the two of you, you know she’s still yours.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

**Drive - Glades**

Maybe you’ve been on the road too long, but when you’re with someone like Natasha, chasing stars isn’t something you could ever be tired of. 

Have you ever met someone who just aligns with you so perfectly? Have you ever met someone your whole world just stops because you’re caught up in the way they look at you? 

You’re not sure how to even breathe when Natasha whispers she loves you, kissing you with her hand in yours. 

And when her lips touch yours, you know you’ll never be the same. 


	9. Practice Makes Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: can i please request nat x reader where they have to share a bed on a mission and end up making out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kinda saucey

You knew one day you’d end up with a mission like this. 

You mean, you’ve heard everyone on the team at least have it once or twice.

And everyone had told you Natasha was the best person to be on this type of mission with.

You know.

The one where you have to pretend to be lovers. 

You’re not sure if it’s because you’ve…never had lovers before, or if it’s just this is your first time on this type of mission, but it goes _horribly._

You’re rigid. 

Stiff as hell. 

You look like you’ve been shot in the stomach, and you’re trying to endure it. 

You’d be surprised at this point if your targets thought you even _liked_ Natasha at this point.

Natasha was obviously a natural at this. 

She could give you light smiles, bedroom eyes, drag her hand along your arm. Honestly, she was carrying the two of you on this. She can sense your obvious discomfort, and she works around it the best she can.

The moment she shuts the hotel door behind her, she pushes you back onto the bed.

“What the hell was that?” She asks you, quirking her brow. She strips off her dress while you look at the ceiling pointedly. Natasha gets ready for her bedroom routine while you slowly do the same.

“I’m…not used to this type of mission,” you say slowly as you hop into bed. 

The bed was fine. You’ve shared beds with loads of people before. Natasha slips in next to you with ease as she faces you.

“Clearly,” she says, still quirking her brow. “What’s the issue? I’m not hot enough for something?”

“What! No!” You choke, and Natasha laughs, and you roll your eyes at her joke, but she’s still expecting an explanation. 

“I just…” You shuffle, “haven’t had any experience with this. I’ve never had the opportunity to have lovers or…physical intimacy, I guess.”

You shrug it off, but Natasha nearly snorts at the way you explain it. 

“Alright,” Natasha sits up, and you follow suit. “Close your eyes.”

“Uh,” you say but then do it when Natasha gives you a pointed look. “Why?”

“Well, I can’t have you freezing up like that again,” Natasha mutters as she leans closer. “This whole mission will be a bust if you freeze up like a fish again. We’re going to practice.”

Your eyes snap back open. _“Practice?”_

Natasha merely makes a noise in the back of her throat, giving you a look, and you sigh, resigning yourself as you close your eyes again.

The first bump of Natasha’s lips feels…awkward. You’re not sure what to do, but Natasha presses firmer, slipping her hand against your neck and jaw. 

“Tilt your head,” Natasha husks against your lips. “Softly move your lips again mine, don’t get excited with your tongue just yet.”

She’s teasing you, you’re sure, but you do as you’re told. 

It gets better. 

Natasha tastes sweet. Like cherries. You’re gripping the front of her nightie, pressing closer as you want more. 

You feel a pleasant tingle in your stomach when Natasha moans a little when you experimentally lick her bottom lip.

“Look at that,” she pulls back, smirking a little. “You’re a natural.”

You lick your own lips. 

“You taste good,” you tell her with the tilt of your head. “Like cherries…I like it.”

Natasha blinks, stilled for a second. She chuckles quietly as she’s pleased with herself. She pushes you back down on the bed as she lies on top of you.

“I think we need a little more practice, don’t you?”


	10. In Love With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: nat being in love with reader. angst. can't wait to see what you do! 💕

Mood: **[I was listening to this!](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4evJFt-BW-g&t=MTc2NDk5MzI0ZTI1MTJiNjkxMTkxYmMwNjE1Yzk4YzhiYjNjN2E5OCxYTXpTSHBuaQ%3D%3D&b=t%3ALhiwdZE8q9ZogBHPApE1CQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fmissmonsters2.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F625123804637757440%2Fnat-being-in-love-with-reader-angst-cant-wait&m=0&ts=1603430549)**

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha’s in love with you.

She has always been. 

Somewhere between the late nights, the laughter, the car rides…everything best friends do…she fell in love with you. 

She loves the way you move on the dance floor like no one else is around. She loves the way you sound when you laugh, the carefree spirit you carry with you wherever you go.

Natasha had loved you even when you belonged to someone else, entering a whirlwind of something that perhaps was always meant to end and break you. 

Even now, she watches you sway on the dancefloor with your eyes closed, liquor in hand, but you don’t move the same way you used to. 

Maybe you’re smiling, but Natasha feels her heart dragging. 

Natasha doesn’t know what to do but to just be there, follow along as she always has. 

There are glimpses of you, like when you get sick of the attention on the dancefloor and want to escape.

But you take off, walking down the street with no destination in mind, and Natasha runs after you. 

The streetlights pass as you stumble down the empty sidewalk. 

Natasha runs up to you, catching you by the wrist.

“Let me take you home,” she says because she doesn’t know what else she can say.

You fling her hand off you.

“Go home, Natasha,” you mutter. “I want to be alone.”

But Natasha shakes her head. She can’t leave you alone. She can’t leave you alone because she’s in love with you and she’s losing you. 

“You can’t do this anymore,” Natasha says softly. “Please don’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” You laugh humorlessly. 

_“This,”_ Natasha looks around. “The late nights out where you don’t come home. The drinking. The smoking. The hooking up with people you don’t even care about.”

There’s a momentary silence.

“You can’t replace her.”

And it’s the most life Natasha’s seen in you since Wanda left you. Wanda left you, and it broke you, but you didn’t show it.

Instead, you turned into this…this _thing_ that keeps pandering through everything.

It’s not you, and Natasha can’t take it anymore. 

“And why not?” You say quietly at first, looking at the ground. 

You suddenly look up, and Natasha is stunned.

Your jaw is clenched, lips quivering with angry tears in your eyes.

This is it. 

You’ve reached your breaking point.

“Wanda _left_ me. She left me, and she didn’t even say goodbye!” The tears spillover. 

_“I hate her!"_ You scream at Natasha. "I _hate_ her so much! How am I supposed to be happy when she’s gone!”

Natasha feels a hard lump in her throat as you break down in front of her. 

You put your face into your hands, trembling.

“Don’t you get it?” You’re so desperate for Natasha to understand. “Every day, it gets worse and _worse_. If I don’t keep dancing, and drinking, and smoking, and look at someone else, then I keep missing her!”

“And I can’t keep missing her anymore! I _can’t_ ,” you choke. 

There’s an urge for Natasha to touch you, but she can’t. 

Natasha closes her eyes painfully. 

There’s a line that seems to blur to her right now, the one that tells her to cross it.

But you’re her best friend, and you’re breaking down in front of her because you’re in love with Wanda still.

Natasha’s in love with you. 

She’s in love with you, but she’s not who you want in front of you right now. 


	11. Lead Me Astray Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unofficial Drabble for Lead Me Astray: What I think would be left on the voice recorder for Nat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: Oh my God. I will admit, I came from AO3 but goddamn your fics are amazing. I just came from your first 'lead me astray' with Natasha/Reader and I had a few ideas. I just thought of giving them to you since I couldn't keep it in. 
> 
> Okay- Just imagine reader leaving for the mission/position but before that she leaves a note for Nat. And all throughout the days that she's away from her, the reader sends texts, letters or whatever always stating how she loves Nat and how she's sorry for how stupid she is and how her day is like. At first, Nat doesn't open the letters but just keeps them in her drawer or whatever but one night she just was curious and reads all of them. 
> 
> But then, two weeks pass without the readers letters and Nat is worried af. She asks Fury and Fury skillfully avoids the questions but Nat is persistent and eventually corners Fury. Fury then says that it's been radio silence from the reader since like two weeks ago. Natasha demands that they like go over where reader was and that's where they find like multiple letters for Natasha, a old style voice recorder with a farewell recording for Nat, a pile of files and 3 USB's filled with info on HYDRA. 
> 
> They find out that Reader was planning on taking a suicide mission alone. And they move in, but was a minute too late, Reader was shot and is stuck in coma (well, I mean if you want reader dead then be my guest) Natasha listens to the recording: "I was, still am, lost without you Nat. You're everything I have left, and with you gone, what do I have to lose? Maybe with me out of the picture, you can finally move on and be happy with someone else. I love you. I always will. Never forget about me, please?"

Natasha's fingers shake as she touches the stupid voice recording pen she had given to you as a gift shortly after she said yes to officially dating you. 

She can't believe you would keep such a small gift. 

It's been a long day, and Natasha only left the hospital after Steve had come to drag her out because the doctors and nurses needed to do additional tests.

It hurt.

It really burned Natasha to see you lying there as still as a statue. Like you were dead. 

Except you weren't. You were in a coma. 

Natasha looks at the pen. She's gone through all of the data you sent except for this pen. 

Because this pen was addressed just to her, and Natasha knows that this was your last message to her, and she's not really ready to hear what you had to say. 

But now this pen could be all that Natasha has left of you. 

She presses play. 

At first, she just heard you coughing awkwardly to clear your throat.

 _"Um..."_ You start, and Natasha's lip twitches as she can picture you pressing your lips together in a gawky manner. 

_"Sorry...you know I'm weirdly awkward with this type of stuff..."_ you mumble before sighing.

_"I guess...I guess I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry again. I knew vulnerability was difficult for you, but I guess I thought I could change that, and that was wrong of me. And then when I was insecure, I did things to punish you instead of coming to talk to you like an adult."_

There was a pause, and Natasha imagines that you lick your lips.

_"Things are rough on my end here, much worse than I imagined. I don't really have a lot of time before I have to go...I don't know if I'll make it back or not if I'm honest. I think you were right in a way...that this line of work, letting someone in can make you vulnerable. And I say that because making this choice was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, right under choosing to leave when I should've stayed to grovel to make it work with you._

_I know I just said I don't know if I'll make it back, but truthfully, I don't think I will. And so, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you, and none of this was your fault, do you hear me? I meant everything that I said in the letter. I wish you happiness, Nat. I wish you find a happiness that you can't find anywhere else in this lifetime. I hope you find someone that makes you spilling out your guts easier than destroying Clint at Mario Kart."_

Natasha chokes on a laugh. 

The recording is silent for a moment, but Natasha can hear you breathing, swallowing noticeably.

_"And...I guess if I'm lucky and those kinds of things exist, I hope I get to meet you in the next lifetime, and if I get that chance...I promise to do it better."_

The recording ends, and Natasha hasn't moved. Hot tears are falling down her eyes, and it feels like something is being torn inside her. 

"Nat."

She hears the voice, but she doesn't turn around. Clint stands there, only catching the last quarter of the recording you left Natasha.

"This is my fault," Natasha says hollowly, tears falling more and more, and Natasha doing nothing to stop them. 

Clint stands straighter, walking toward her. "No, don't say--"

 _"It is!"_ Natasha bites out. "Even though I _still_ loved her, missed her, wanted things to work out, wanted to forgive her--I let her leave. I let her leave because I was scared, and I was scared because the truth was that I already let her in."

Natasha presses her hand to her face, teeth clenched. "If I could take it all back, I would. I would tell her every little thing on my mind because then she wouldn't have felt like she had nothing to come home to and wouldn't have made that choice."

Natasha feels Clint pull her into a hug, tears soaking his shirt as he doesn't know what to say. 

"I don't even know if I'll get to tell her now," Natasha lets her face fall against Clint easily, her tight grip on the pen recorder loosening.

"You will," Clint tells her. "She'll wake up...she has to."


	12. How to Lose Someone in 100 Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People think you lose someone just once, but that’s not true at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST

Do you know what people think about a breakup? 

It’s only over once. 

That’s why they can tell you things like, “It will be better in time, just you see,” or, “You just need to move on, keep moving forward. You can’t stay like this forever.”

Provided you aren’t going back to that person repeatedly so there are multiple breakups, there is some merit to what they’re saying. Of course, you don’t want to be a moping, sad mess forever.

The breakup happens only once.

But you don't _lose_ that person only _once_. 

For you, it feels like you lose Natasha over and over again every day. 

It’s having a new show or movie come out that you know Natasha would love, but you can’t share the excitement anymore. It’s realizing that you have to watch these things without her now.

It’s passing by a restaurant that the two of you frequently used to go to together. 

It’s being paralyzed with fear when you need to do something new, and Natasha is no longer there to support you.

She doesn’t want to support you anymore.

“It’s getting cold, huh?” Wanda mutters to you as the two of you make your way back to her place.

“Yeah,” you reply softly. You think about how going on a date with someone new is another way of losing Natasha. The way you had to go through the first date jitters, though you don’t think you felt that. 

“We should get our flu shots,” Wanda reminds you, and you turn to her with a soft smile and nod once more. But flu shots were just another memory of sitting in an office with Natasha while you grumbled about needles. 

It’s just another way of losing her. 

Sure, people were right that you learned how to survive with Natasha. There was a time you didn’t think you’d be able to make it without her soft laugh, the way she slowly blinked in the mornings before the world was awake as she smiled at you. 

The breakup was hard.

So fucking hard.

But losing Natasha over and over even after she was gone was _harder_.

Sometimes you hate listening to music because being around Natasha had changed your music taste, and when you hear her favorite song on the radio or hear music she likes on Spotify, you think your world might be a little better with more silence.

Yet, in the silence is just more ways for you to lose Natasha. You lose her every time you think about her. The way she kissed you, the way she held you, the way she smirked at you. You lose her when you go to bed at night, knowing she’s not there. 

And when you wake up, and she’s not next to you, you go through losing her all over again. 

“Hey, what do you want to eat tonight? I’m thinking steak and roasted carrots and asparagus?” Wanda hums as she grasps your hand. 

Natasha hates carrots. 

“Sounds delicious,” you tell Wanda, grasping her hand a little tighter. “Do you want to pick up some dessert?”

“Oh god, yes,” Wanda smiles excitedly, “That would be so good with watching The Bly Manor tonight. Where do you want to get dessert?”

You swallow roughly, trying to not be noticeable about it. “There’s a really good place two blocks from here.”

“Oh, perfect!” Wanda drags you as she walks faster. “How do you know about this place? Let’s go faster, my toes are starting to freeze.”

You look around, the familiar route flooding your head like a river of headache. 

“Just a place I used to go to.”

There’s probably a hundred ways for you to lose Natasha. 

The first time was when she left you.

The other ninety-nine times being every little memory Natasha left behind with you. 


End file.
